Have you ever felt exhausted trying to make everyone happy? Or anxious because friends and family are taking advantage of your time? Guilty for saying “no” to friends? It might be time to set some healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are essential to mental health and can look different for each individual. A boundary is a rule or limit you set with others to express what we deem acceptable versus unacceptable. They are lines we draw for ourselves to outline our level of comfort around others. Research indicates that violations of personal space can cause discomfort, especially those caused by boundary violations.
Personal boundaries help us avoid feeling overused, overworked or overstimulated in situations. It may feel difficult to set appropriate boundaries out of fear of offending or hurting others, but boundaries are essential to building trust and safety in healthy relationships. According to Forbes, not setting healthy boundaries can be related to issues such as self-esteem, a desire for approval from others, learned helplessness or the fear of rejection or criticism.
Setting boundaries can help improve both mental health and overall wellbeing. Some benefits of setting boundaries include:
- Improved relationships
- Decreased levels of stress
- Improved self-care capabilities
- Clear expectations for others
To begin setting healthy boundaries, start with assessing the situation(s) with self-awareness. If you do not like the way you feel or act during it, remind yourself that you have the power to make a change. From there, you can determine the issue, whether physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual, or financial. Once outlined, start with a few small boundaries. Build them up slowly to avoid overwhelming yourself. Try to stay consistent with your boundaries to help reinforce your beliefs, and remember to communicate when your boundaries are crossed.
Some examples of what a healthy boundary looks like include:
- It is not my job to fix others.
- It is okay to say no.
- It is not my job to take responsibility for others.
- I have a right to my own feelings.
- I am enough.
Healthy boundaries involve elements of self-care and self-respect to ensure achievement is feasible in both your personal and professional life. During the time of setting boundaries, remember to show yourself encouragement and support by practicing self-love or engaging in your favorite activities.
Implementing boundaries may take time and consideration. If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health, Oaks offers caring, compassionate services for adults, children and families living with a mental illness. Our programs throughout New Jersey give individuals the opportunity to make healthy choices, stabilize symptoms of illness and eventually reach his or her full potential. To learn more, take the first step and call our Access Center at 1-800-963-3377.
